a REFLECTION ON J.J. CARTER, SR.

Oh man, he was gentle with a firm tone and a smile that made my childhood awesome. He had a very high presence in molding my love for agriculture and service to mankind.

God gave him to me for a very short time and in time PawPaw made sure he made it count, and for this allowance, I am grateful. I remember every second spent and each one of those seconds was a life lesson. I will share a few of the memories.

He was a man of great faith. I can remember him leading devotion down on one knee, praying, and singing hymns at church. As a young child, I didn’t fully understand what was going on, but from the passion in his voice, I figured that whomever he was talking to was listening and it was going to get answered. During that moment in his voice, you could hear the importance of talking to and praising God, thanking Him for all that He had done and for what He was going to do. The lesson - Regardless of what is going on in your life, God is worthy to be praised.

He made sure his grandchildren and neighborhood kids went to church. He would put the girls in the cab of the truck and the boys in the back. 

He loved his family, especially Bigmomma. He taught us how to work hard, love one another, take care of each other, put God first, say what we mean, and hold firm to your word.

I looked forward to spending time with him every day. One day, out of the blue, Mom and Daddy decided to enroll me in school, thereby messing with our PawPaw/Granddaughter days. Each time was epic – never a dull moment. When he would say, “Mary Lou, make sure Jogiggle hair is combed; we’re going to town tomorrow”, that was music to my ears. However, I hated getting my hair combed. I asked why I needed my hair combed. He answered, “Every time you leave home, always represent yourself and your family well because you never know who you might run into or meet.” When we went to town, he was always well-dressed and nicely groomed. I can smell his shaving cream now. His gold teeth shined so bright like a diamond. The one with the star was my favorite because he was my star.

One day, I think we stopped by a local school or some place of importance. Before we went in, he said, “Jogiggle, speak and say nothing else”; not that I was going to anyway because I was extremely shy. We went in the room and a meeting took place. During the meeting, I noticed he wasn’t saying anything. Afterwards, I asked why didn’t he say anything. He stated, “You don’t have to always respond; think before you speak, listen carefully for what is not being said, and never let the right hand know what the left is doing”. The lesson – If you must speak, make sure it has value and you can prove what you say.”

Even when he got sick, he never stopped spoiling, loving, and teaching me. We went down to “da house” every day. There isn’t a picture of my childhood that I was not there. The first thing I always did when I got out of the car was to go see and speak to my PawPaw. Our bond was so close that he could hear my walk and know that it was me. So, on this particular day, I saw him but didn’t speak. With a firm tone, he said, “Jogiggle, don’t you ever walk into a room with people there and not speak; you acknowledge those who were there before you because that shows character.” The lesson – Whenever I open a door, I also prepare to open my mouth.

There were times when he probably wanted to tear my behind up, but he didn’t. In a letter he wrote to me, he said, “I want you to be good.” He can rest assured that Bigmomma made sure of that!

I used to wonder why our bond was so close. Recently, it came to me that he saw something in me that no one else could see and wanted to prepare me for the journey I am walking right now.

These are just a few of our memories I wanted to share and the ones I believe he would have wanted me to share with the family because each memory is a lesson.

I am going to end by quoting a phrase from PawPaw’s prayer – “Lord, bind my family so close together that one can’t fall without the other.”